Still smile, please!!

I haven't wrote anything since the day i came back from my town. There were so many things that had happened there. The happiest? I have been able to teach and play music again. To have a bonding with my old friends and my former band members again was indeed a nice feeling. But there's something unexpected happened... A sad one for me! There's a girl, 16 y/o or so, teased by her friends and according to her friends was having a special feeling for me. I ignored it, thinking that it was just a high school thing, i mean, i also been a high school student before. And even if it is true, she is too young for me!!! She is one of the dancers. The entire group is composed of dancers and musicians. Yon nga, Since i started teaching the musicians, i noticed that this particular girl, was so, "papansin" as what teenagers say... Every break, she's going at our area, sit there, doing nothing. She often calls me, makes me go close to her, just to say a non sense thing. I ignored it. But i can't deny the fact that there's a bit sweetness in her attitude sometimes. So, to make this long story short, a night before the performance day, the entire group was asked to sleep at the school for 3:AM practice. I, as the musicians teacher must also sleep there. But before i go to sleep, we (with the drummers) went out to roam, after that, they all sleep inside and i stayed out txting my ATE... I sat under the tree and after a while, the girl that i am talking about went out too and sat beside me, i didn't mind it, well, maybe because i am mature enough to think straight. I mean, everyone can sit beside me. Then, magtapat ba naman sa'kin, i was shocked. I said nothing but "ah, ganon ba? Bata ka pa" then laughed. She said "kuya ---- naman eh" and suddenly leaned on my shoulder, ang mali ko ay, i let her do it. She almost hug me nga ehhh.... I let her not because i like her too, but just because i don't wanna hurt her. Tsaka, baka bumaba tingin nya sa sarili nya, and i don't want it to happen to anyone. She stayed by my side almost hugging me for about 15 mins. My right hand was on my phone and the left was in my pocket, avoiding to hug her back... hehe. During that 15 mins. i said nothing but "ahw" whenever she says something. And after that 15 mins. i realized na baka mas umasa xa, un, i slightly and gently pushed her head 1st away from my shoulder and just said, "you better sleep na, pasok ka na sa room.nyo. Hindi pala pumayag si Mama na dito ako matulog" just to free my body away from her. After i said goodnight, i walked away from her toward the gate as fast as i could. After the performance, i texted her to better find the right guy and explained what i feel and what is wrong... She got mad at me, but i can't blame her, her only fault is being young. She still doesn't know many things. Including the difference between love and infatuation. I apologized to her even though i don't have to, and pretend that i was the one who's wrong to lessen what she feels... Tell me, must i be condemned for what i've done? Mali ba ang ginawa ko? Hope, before you put an angry feeling in your heart, try to understand me first...

For the girl that i truly love, forgive me and understand me, and i hope you can still smile...